Not Knowing

Have you ever not known what is happening in your life?

I mean, really not known?

I am someone who has always prided myself on knowing. Partly it's an ENFJ thing but partly a Nicole thing. I have been a recovering knower since I was in my teens and twenties and thought I knew everything.

Something funny is happening this week. My mind is just stopping. My mind doesn't stop. It just keeps talking all the time. Yep, even when I am supposed to be meditating, often, too, though of course there are blissful chunks of time it takes a rest and then the time seems to blur by quickly.

But I don't know right now. And usually that would fill me with panic because as a dear friend told me today that means the creature is in free fall. But it is exhilarating instead.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5tVA6TkbaAH9QMITTQRrNv?si=9Ns_e0LpThC5YFpEarpmew

(Song: Free Fallin' by Tom Petty
"Now I'm free, free fallin'..."

Just ignore the verses - it is that wide open space of the chorus that I love about this song.)